I’m so bored of being a Newcastle United fan. I’m not writing this as a statistician (because I’m not one) or an expert (not one of those either), I’m just fed-up.
According to most pundits in the mainstream media, it may seem like the Magpies are having a good season. However, the best start since the heady days of Alan Pardew sees them 12th in the Premier League after 13 games, and even that flatters to deceive.
Getting to the quarter final of the Carabao Cup looks impressive for a team who are usually so poor in knockout competitions, but other than a 7-0 win at League Two Morecambe, Newcastle scraped through before eventually being dumped out by a Brentford side who were far below their usual Championship standards.
Given the teams left in the Carabao Cup, the quarter final draw was extremely favourable for the Premier League side. Worse again, it was the first time since 2016/17 that Newcastle had reached the last-eight and have never gone past this stage since this knock-out competition was introduced in 1961.
Insipid play and toothless displays have been a common feature of Newcastle’s season. The most frustrating hallmark of the team’s play under Steve Bruce is regularly going back to our own goalkeeper from attacking positions. No one is taking risks until it’s far too late, and low concentration across the entire team means the only reason we’ve been hanging on in games against Tottenham, Wolves, and Fulham is the opposition’s profligacy in front of goal.
Bruce has ridden his luck at times but is now looking increasingly out of ideas. Putting on four strikers in search for an equaliser against Brentford is all well and good, but if there’s no service they’re not going to score.
Callum Wilson looks as isolated as Joelinton last season, he’s just better at finding the back of the net. Sean Longstaff has done nothing of note since Manchester United’s interest and needs a period out of the team. His errors and languid manner are costing the team at best possession and, at worst, valuable points. The team works around Jonjo Shelvey when he’s fit and selected, but he does little more than spray impressive looking balls around the pitch that amount to little or nothing.
However, there is no point in calling for Bruce’s head. After 18 months, he has not given the team an identity or a purpose (except maybe to stay afloat in the Premier League). As long as Mike Ashley is at the helm, having three worse teams in the league will be enough to keep things ticking over with this dull and uninspiring play.
Newcastle may continue to pick up the odd point this season thanks to opponents having off days and the occasional lucky penalty. But until a new man is in charge, the fans, as has been the case for more than a decade, are left without hope of anything better than “this will do”.
I accepted long ago that Newcastle United would not be challenging for the Champions League as they had been when I fell in love with going to games under the floodlights of St James’ Park.
I had a feeling when I travelled to Bruges with my best mate for the Europa League in 2012 it would be a while before we’d do it again. However, fans deserve better than this drab, uninspiring mess.
